All rights reserved.
Strictly confidential.
No part of this rant may be reproduced in any way or there will be dire consequences for the offender (I will find you…)
(I mean it! A.K.47)
Acknowledgments
The author wishes to make it known that she has travelled completely around the bend. This has been due to having a mother that is daft as a brush, being married to a Keeble for over thirty years, which means there has been never a dull moment and the enthusiastic and infuriating support of three sons who just will not leave the nest, even though the sock monster rules supreme.
Chapter 1 – Girl Power
What is it in the male psyche that produces that innate incapacity to accept that when they accuse their wife/partner / mother of specified aberrations; they are actually talking about their own faults? Who is it really that has changed and turned into an’ old battle-axe’? Hmm battle-axe, strange that this is a female pseudonym, now who are some of the other so-called I wonder?
Boadicea, Queen of the Iceni, Celtic Goddess of Victory, a noble, warlike, brave leader and Roman basher. Well I can live with that! Bring on the knobbly kneed, mini-skirted marauders, I’d have given them hell too, plundering the homelands and raping the wenches……… hold on a minute I am a possessor of that ‘Dorset Nose’, where did it originate from? Roman entrapment? Roman love tryst? Or wench raping? Maybe I am not so Saxon after all?
Queen Elisabeth 1st, educated, intelligent, shrewd and in charge for forty-five years, what a gal! Now there is a fine example of female strong will, all those males she used and abused like a black widow spinster, watching and waiting for the moustachioed and pantalooned Lotharios to fall at her feet (or in her four poster). Nips and tucks were a little different in those days, boned corsets to keep the flab in check and frilly collars to hide those wrinkles. Which makes me think of good old Queen Vic’ another battler and arbitrator, just rule maker and presence extraordinaire. Not many folk argued with her opinions and decisions if they knew what was good for them. She just could NOT get over the fact that Albert decided to snuff it and she no longer had an official verbal punch bag. Was he scared or was he scared?
Maggie Thatcher, there’s another one, a blue battle-axe wielder, although I would not choose to be compared with that old trout, except that we do have one thing in common, we both draw breath. She probably gets her knickers from Marks and Sparks too.
So, my argument is that to be called an ‘old battle-axe’ by your spouse/partner is not such a belittling name-call, apart from the ‘old’ reference perhaps, cause he is probably just as old as you are. Us women know that the men folk of the world require a firm hand, we just do not put this into words, and we enforce it!
Old Battleaxe indeed!
Chapter 2 to follow soon!